My former mother-in-law took out a life insurance policy on my oldest child. I am enraged. Is it legal?
My former mother-in-law has a life insurance policy on my 27 year old daughter, her eldest granddaughter. Is it valid and legal?
We have all lived in Georgia for years. I divorced my ex-husband 26 years ago. My current 24 year old husband welcomed my oldest daughter and accepted her 100% as his from the start.
My ex-husband is an alcoholic and has a very controlling and manipulative mother. He is currently on probation and is not licensed to drive after five DUIs. My ex-husband is a mom’s son. His mother is a dishonest and accomplice person who begs, borrows, cheats and steals for her “little boy” or for herself, because she thinks the world owes her.
When I remarried, I was in a legal battle with my ex – or her mother, because she controlled the purse strings – on and off for about four years. My ex was trying to stop paying child support. I finally accepted, because I was tired of the fight. Also, my current husband said if the ex didn’t want to take care of his own child, he would.
““We have continued to fight over ridiculous things over the years.”“
We have continued to fight over ridiculous things over the years. Not once did my ex-husband or his parents financially help anything other than what was required by the court, which was next to nothing. They didn’t help with anything school related unless required; they didn’t help with the purchase of the first car, the tuition, and the tuition.
They didn’t even help when my oldest asked to go to rehab because she needed help. I haven’t communicated with any of them for over 10 years. I despise them all. Fast forward to today when my oldest told me that my former mother-in-law had a life insurance policy for all of her grandchildren, along with half a dozen other people.
They have never given or even offered financial assistance over the years for anything for my daughter, so why does she think it is okay to have a life insurance policy for my daughter? child? How can I cancel this policy? I can assure you that she intends to pocket the money instead of helping bury my child if – God forbid – my daughter dies.
She’s a step-monster! Any information or advice would be greatly appreciated.
You can email The Moneyist with all financial and ethical questions related to the coronavirus at email@example.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.
Generally, purchasing a life insurance policy on a grandchild makes sense as a gift for that child rather than a payment for the person who purchased the policy.
In most states, your former mother-in-law would need permission from your daughter, assuming she was an adult at the time, or her parent or guardian if she was a minor. Presumably, she asked your daughter’s father for this permission. Counterfeiting such a signature would be illegal.
Of course, most grandparents buy policies for their grandchildren to help them build up a nest egg for college – though a 529 account would be a better alternative – or just as a way to give them money. ‘money at a later date. They can, for example, transfer the contract to them at the age of 18 or 25.
“As family caregivers, grandparents are eligible to purchase whole life insurance for their grandchildren,” according to SelectQuote, which helps people buy insurance policies. “Insurance can be purchased on behalf of the child, which means that the child becomes the owner of the policy once he is an adult. “
You describe all the misdeeds and absences of your ex-husband and your mother-in-law, and it is clear that this policy exists. It seems to bring back all of those bad memories and resentments. I have no doubts about the bad behavior or the way your daughter’s father didn’t show up in her life.
““Whether or not you incite bad behavior, you have a choice: you can let them live their lives or become hostage to their every move.”“
However, by obsessing over this policy and agonizing over how it can be undone, you might as well be married to both of you. Whether or not you incite bad behavior, the choice is yours: you can let them go on with their lives or become hostage to their every move.
If you choose the latter, ask yourself what you get by choosing this route, because it is a choice. Maybe this anger is a familiar place to you, and resentment makes you feel right and wronged, and reminds you that you’ve done your best to be a good person.
Whatever the reasons, these short-term bursts of pain and anger – valid as they are – don’t serve your long-term happiness. The whole point of getting a divorce and starting a new life is leaving these little worries aside. It will only create a toxic family atmosphere.
Taking out a life insurance policy for a young and healthy grandchild can have advantages. “Plans for grandchildren rarely require a review, rates will never increase and coverage never expires,” according to Mutual of choice Insurance Agency.
For the record, there are two main types of life insurance: The first is term life insurance, which exists for a period of time and has no cash value. The second is whole life – also known as universal life, variable universal life, and indexed universal life – which, as the name suggests, lasts the entire life of the person.
Your former mother-in-law could either wait and, in the unlikely event that your daughter dies before she does, cash in on the police. Alternatively, she could use it as a de facto savings plan and borrow against the policy or cash sooner. To speculate on what she can and cannot do, however, is not healthy.
Whether her motives are selfish or altruistic, your ex-mother-in-law will have a premium to pay for every life insurance policy she holds. If it does not meet the premiums, the policies will expire. It is the responsibility of his life and his choice. Do yourself a favor and let her do it.
By sending your questions by email, you agree that they will be posted anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including through third parties.
To verify the private Facebook Moneyist group, where we seek answers to life’s toughest money problems. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
The Monetary regrets that he cannot answer the questions individually.
More from Quentin Fottrell:
• My married sister uses the most precious possessions of our parents. How to prevent him from looting their house?
• My mother asked my grandfather to sign a trust leaving millions of dollars for two grandchildren, avoiding everyone
• My brother’s future ex-wife is embezzling money from her business. How to find hidden accounts?
• ‘Grandmother recently passed away, leaving behind a 7-figure estate. Needless to say things get messy ‘